Winter and Holiday Stress On Relationships.....!

[AJ]

Hi Community,

I was thinking about something today and wanted to write it down. Winter time and the Holidays put a lot of stress on a relationship. So much so, that a lot of people break up or get divorced during these times. I am kinda speaking to the women right now because I have an excersize that could prevent this from happening. Another factor that plays into this especially during Christmas is finances. Couples tend to blame each other for financial problems. In some cases it may be one or the others fault that the finances are in disarray, however, if you cherish your spouse or relationship, you may want to consider the fact that it is much nicer to be broke together, than broke alone. Looking for greener pastures is only a temporary fix, and you will find yourself in the same position down the road in your next relationship in most cases. So, please be careful with this if you love your spouse.

So back to my original thought. Women play a HUGE role in their male companions mental health. If a man is feeling at ease in his relationship and loved and trusts his spouse, he is more likely to be successful. Right now, you may find yourself fighting a lot, and arguing about the same things you have been arguing about for years. You may fight about money a lot. There may be some infidelity in the relationship. This plays hard on the husbands or boyfriends mind. Men are capable of a lot if they feel loved by their wife or girlfriend. Every successful man has a strong woman behind him. So, if you love your man, don't give up on him yet. Instead, try this. Next time your are about to get in an argument. Sit him down. Lower your tone. Talk sweet. Tell him, hey listen, I love you very much. I want to be with you and only you. I want this to work. I am not going to give up on you. I believe in you and I know that we are going to pull through this. Sit down and talk for awhile and keep the tone low. Do not yell, and do not say anything that you are sure is going to spark an argument. Re assure him that the relationship is safe right now and you are dedicated to improving it. Spend some time with him. Your day isn't that busy. Let him know he matters. Quite texting that guy that he always gets jealous of. Turn the phone off and watch a movie with him. Guys view sex as affirmation. Give him a little that night. Talk for awhile afterward and fall asleep talking. Remind each other not to get upset or bring up any issues that would cause a fight. Stay away from fights right now. For sure. I'm not saying let it build up, just put it on the back burner right now. The past is not that important. We all make mistakes and if you are still together then you have already made the decision that you can work through it. So start working through it.

If you do this, you will find that tomorrow, your husband will be happy, and feel more confident about himself. He will feel more comfortable that what he has been working for is going to be successful. And he might just make some more money.

MEN: Real simple here.

Stop blaming her for everything that makes you mad. Remember, she is your wife, not your mother or your maid. She takes care of you because she loves you. Not because she has to. Stop raising your voice at her. It only makes her cry. And you will not get any benefits from it. Tell her she is beautiful. She has felt ugly ever since she had kids, and probably always will unless YOU do something about it. You need to build her confidence too. Before someone else does. Yelling at her and calling her names, is not going to keep her from finding greener pastures. Telling her she is beautiful and that you love her and have cherished every moment might.. If it's not to late. Tell her how much you appreciate everything she has done for you. Tell her even though you are lazy and you don't listen to anything she says, does not mean that you don't love her anymore, and that from today forward you are going to start making an effort to tell her these things. Because she deserves it. She washes your clothes and cooks your dinner and let's you play video games and screw around and hardly ever bitches about it because she loves you and would rather shut her mouth than lose you from her life. Do you see why that should be respected. It's not because she is afraid that she couldn't find anyone else, because there is probably several guys right now that would take her off your hands and she knows it. It's because she loves you and even though you fight, and you say mean things to her, she is waiting patiently for that 10 minutes that you make her heart flutter. So quit being a jerk.

Follow these simple steps and enjoy the holidays with your spouse and your kids. Because without them, you are not you.

[Ann Jordan]

Good advice. :D